Dear Dante

Dante answers his readers questions on life, love, and just about anything. He has an opinion on everything.  Just ask him!

10.15.11

Dear Dante the Gator Dog: I am the four-legged Gator fan in my house and I want my human to outfit me with a Gator jersey and hat like yours.  I’m a big boy, I weigh about 75 pounds, do you think you can send my human the info on where to buy my Gator fan outfit?  Here’s barking from one Gator Dog to another

Dear Gator Dog: My human knows where to get all the coolest Gator stuff, my jersey & hat, my rain slicker, my leash & collar, all my Bo-Bos and more are at the GatorsStore.com:  http://gatorsstore.com/wstore/WStoreCatalog.aspx?cat_id=78&sort=0&pg=1   Here’s Gator Growling at Ya’

7.09.11

Dear DanteJust remember I was your first on line connection. There is something “very special” about firsts….don’t you think?? Not to put any of the bevies of beauties down…but lets just say I am working on keeping myself in shape with “my”,,,, “Her”. We walked (that’s run in our four legged world).. three miles on the beach today…way too early am…and my four little legs kept up with her two long ones. She would not even stop to let me take time for my morning…you know. Just saying….she has turned into an exercise nut! Oatmeal for breakfast for her….dry food for me…no bacon! God I miss Grandma. I can’t wait for Grandma’s next visit. I saw fish come out for dinner. Woo Hoo…yuck. Oh for the days when CG and Big T were here and there was grilling of burgers and generous spirits of the big people. That CQ title has totally gone to “her” head. Something about weight gain/ a couple of pounds and she goes over the top! You should see the side show when she gets dressed in the morning and she is a couple of pounds up. Good Grief!
Any suggestiions on how to cope when the scale is reflecting the wrong answer for your “her”??
I can’t wait for November when CG and Big T return. Maybe I’ll get something yummy in my bowl…but for now just know I’m very firm and toned awaiting our first meeting!
Love Coca’Bella

Dear Coca’Bella:  I will never forget that you are my first online connection…you had me at first bark…BOL!!  You have stolen my heart…not only are you gorgeous and fit, fit, fit…you love your human as much as I love mine.  That is very important to me!  We need to arrange a run on the beach together…you would love the Dog Beach where SHE takes me…it is too much fun.

Now for that “scale” thing…it’s a human thing…we just need to wag our tails like crazy when then step on and off that thing…let your human know how much you love HER.  We can help our humans by making sure they get their exercise every day…it’s a tough job, but us 4-Ls are up to it.  YOur human is eating oatmeal in the morning…ha…mine is eating yogurt with flax seeds…that doesn’t even sound good…BAYL Chiquita 

6.26.11

Dear Dante: You look like one cool guy – How do you keep your cool in the hot summer weather?  Sweating in Savannah

Dear Sweating: Thanks for the compliment but staying cool is a full-time job here in Florida.  A short body-cut and a fluffy face and ears are my secret weapon.  The bonus to a short body cut is that it really shows off my muscular little legs! BMTO  The cut keeps my body cool and then I hydrate, hydrate, hydrate.  I love the filtered water SHE puts in my water tank and every once in a while SHE drops an ice cube in for a treat!  Oh, yea…I run naked during the day!  BAYL…in the buff!

6.5.11

Dear Dante: My person gives me my bath at home in a big plastic tub…what’s up with this Spa thing?  What do you do all day?  Wondering in Wichita.

Dear Wondering: The Spa is THE best.  First thing when I arrive, everyone welcomes me and tells me how much they missed me…love it!  I get to go to a big playpen until it’s my turn to go into the gigantic tub.  I get the best bath ever including a massage.  My day at the Spa includes a blow dry while I’m relaxing in a high-rise condo…this is the life.  Then I get the best hair styling ever including fluffing my ears to the max…get my nails clipped…my ears cleaned and when I am looking TCFW…I get a slamming little bandana around my neck.  Oh, did I mention a spray or two of my favorite cologne…Hawaii Breeze.  Then I get to strut my stuff around the block (they want me to “do my business”).  Then I get to relax for the rest of the afternoon in my very own big playpen…life is good at the Spa!   BAYL…

5.20.11

Dear Dante – Since you give fashion advice, I hope you can help me.  My human thinks a scarf around my neck is fashion enough for me.  I want more.  I want some cool tees, a more fashionable leash would be nice too.  How do I get my human to “get with it”?          – Starved for fashion

Dear Starved – You’re not the only four-legged friend with this need to be cute and stylish.  Next time you see a Pet Supermarket commercial on T.V. and they show all the cool stuff available…bark at the screen like crazy.  Next time the Sunday ads come out in the newspaper, grab the ads for pets and take them to your human.  Next time your human does laundry, grab one of their tees and take it to them…you have to be persistent.   Want my human to send your human some info on where to buy some cool tees?  Just let me know.  Until then…keep wearing your neck scarf and put some of your own cool into it…strut your stuff with what you got!  BAYL

5.2.11

Dear Dante – You are my fashion icon…I must have that Facebook tee!  Where, oh where, did you buy it?  You are my hero.  Here’s barking at you later, A dude in need of fashion

Dear Dude – Thank you for the compliment…I try!  My Facebook tee was ordered from eyPet.com.  Be sure to visit my page Dante Recommends and checkout all my fav places to shop, play, eat and more.  Here’s Barking at You Kid!

4.27.11

Dear Dante, Control is an amazing word!! Many people are control people. You are a CLG and want to roam, I can’t blame you for what you did but it is an expensive leash, maybe if you are good on the regular leash, SHE won’t buy another bad leash!!! Give HER a couple of those cute faces and SHE will give in SHE loves you!!!!  TTYL

Hey TTYL – I had all day in my play area and condo to think about what I did….and all day to practice cute faces like: I’m sorry. I love you. You are the best. I was a bad boy…I am so so sorry.  You are very right…it was about control…and I guess I showed that harness who had control…BIMMO

4.25.11

Dear Dante, I am Wilhemina, Willie for short. I am 12 pounds of energetic white curls, a pure Bichon, my puppy guardians died, my groomer adopted me out to an 85 y/o woman who returned me saying I had too much energy for her. What was my groomer thinking? I now live with Corky, he’s almost 10, and Taffy who turns 11 next week. They are Lhasa-poos and I am 5 years old. My favorite thing to do is play ball and if no one is available, I can chase it all by myself – I am very clever. I also love to trail toilet paper all through the house. Carole laughs, Larry scolds me. I wear clothes 99% of the time because my skin is so bad, but I don’t mind, I own 6 pair of pajamas that cover me pretty well and I don’t lick hotspots any more. I can tell by your stories that we share the same mission statement “Dog’s Rule”. BAYL – Willie

Dear Wilhemina…you are such a cutie and you may be five, but you look like a mere pup to me!! I’m a Malti-poo, my brother and sister are Cocka-poos and before them SHE had a Peke-a-Poo…thats lots of poo in our house!! BMTO. I am so glad you wrote & sent me your pix…we can be paw pals. Licks – Woofs – Wags

4.15.11

Dear Dante – I just have to have a tee like the one in your blog today: I trained my owner well.  I have done an outstanding job with my owner and even better, she doesn’t even realize it!   – The True Master in My Home

Dear True Master – Congratulations on a job well done.  You get my Two Paws Up award for today!  Unfortunately I can’t tell you where you can buy that awesome tee…SHE got it at a garage sale…not a bad deal for 25 cents!!!  BAYL….

4.14.11

Dear Dante, I like the statue look. It’s good enough for the Westminster Dog Show. LOL (cause I don’t bark).  – Ann

Hey Ann – You are my favorite …today! I’m going to let HER know that SHE needs to be getting me more photo ops…I love that you think I look good enough for the Dog Show…’cause I can really put on a show!! BOL…because I can!!

4.11.11

OMG, Dante….that shirt describes you PERFECTLY!!! You are such a cutie. So glad to read that you helped HER through her horrible week. Don’t worry, you will soon be strutting your stuff down the street…the ladies have not forgotten you, trust me!  – Judy

 OMG Judy…so glad you think my Captain Cutie tee describes me to a tee (ha, ha…get it…describes me to a tee!) I was a very good CLG while SHE wasn’t feeling good…but I am waiting to kick butt and take names…I have to get HER back on HER health and happiness track. Oh, and regarding the ladies…I have a very special outfit that I’m waiting to wear for my “big strut” anound the ‘hood. I’ll be sure to have HER take some really good pictures…preferrably from my jammin’ basket!! BAYL…. 

4.10.11

Dear Dante,  I think you are the most witty, funny and gorgeous dog! I only hope to meet you one day. Can you ask “HER” for a play date?  Love, Robin

Hey Robin – That sounds like a great idea: a play date!! Do you and your cute little doggies ever go to Dog Beach on Key Biscayne? Us four-legged guys just love this place.  And whenever I finish playing there is a Starbucks on the island where the humans go for “refilling”!!  Are you guys up for next Sunday?

4.6.11

Dear Dante: I’m sure bunny bo-bo has curative powers. Does it have a tag on it? My granddaughter thinks the tag heals everything.  Ann in Tampa

Dear Ann in Tampa: Bunny Bo-Bo is very special – he has a badge on his chest and his tag matches it: ASPCA. Your granddaughter is very right….check my blog tomorrow and see what Bunny Bo-Bo did today!

4.5.11

Dear Dante, thank you so much for these translations. I was having to stay up late trying to figure them all out. Since I am a poor dogless soul, I wasn’t really up on all the lingo, but I am a HUGE (figuratively) fan of yours and didn’t want to miss a thing. IMHO you are a SCLG (Super cute little guy)!

Dear HUGE fan: I am so glad you like my Shortpaw translations…now you can add “Shortpaw” to the languages that you speak….BOL!! You had me BMTO when you said you were a “HUGE” (figuratively) fan….I don’t use that word HUGE unless I am referring to: how many pounds SHE lost (not how much SHE weighs!) or the size of my wardrobe or the size of my bud Duke, the lab that lives in my ‘hood, now that dude is HUGE ….but I really like that you are a huge fan!!! …my spies tell me you have been a very good human…that you have lost a “HUGE” amount of weight and that you have achieved “a happier and healthier you”…well way to go girl…that is one BBO for you!!

4.4.11

Dante, it’s me Leon. Is that what you are supposed to do when our people get sick? Give them Bo-Bos? I didn’t know. [btw, my person calls them chew toys. I like your name better.] My person has been sick and I still made her get out of bed at 6 am Sunday to walk me [hey, I’m 13 1/2. An old guy’s gotta pee]. All weekend I gave her the bark when I was hungry [she has to be in the same room with me when I eat] or when I wanted to play [which is all the time when I’m not sleeping or eating]. Now, I feel terrible. Today I let her sleep until 9a even though it’s Monday. I gave her extra kisses when she woke up, too. So one more thing, you have a condo, I have a cage. You go to the spa. My person takes me to ‘the cleaners.’ Maybe my person can learn from your person, too. Thanks for helping us both be better. My person loves reading your blog and is rooting for your success at health and happiness. I am, too. BAYL

Hey there Leon…do you know what we are? LDBDF…Long Distance Best Dog Friends…BOL!  So what’s with our humans and this being sick thing? Do they call each other and say “let’s be sick today”? I think SHE really knows how to fluff-up HER words: condo = crate/cage, spa= groomers, Bo-Bos = chew toys, cookies = biscuits, chewies = rawhide chews, time-out = my bad (ha, ha). Let me clue you in our “deal”…I have an automatic water bowl, an automatic dog food feeder, and I have something called “piddle pads”…SHE actually wants me to do my business on them when I can’t go outside…when I use the piddle pads SHE calls me a “good boy” and I get a cookie….how cool is my person? SHE’S so good to me, it’s the least I can do for HER by being nice and quiet and not too demanding while SHE’S sick. Leon, my bud, our humans love us so much…they really don’t ask too much from us except to love them as they are…and as you and I know…they ain’t perfect!!! BMTO …..BAYL……

4.3.11

Dear Dante: My four-legged best friend, Brandon, would love to have a jammin’ bike basket like the one you travel around in with HER.  Brandon weighs 20 pounds, would your jammin’ basket work for him and if so, where can I find one? – Brandon’s Mom

Dear Brandon’s Mom: My jammin’ bike basket will hold any four-legged friend of mine up to 20 pounds…so be sure to keep Brandon at his fightin’ weight..BOL.  It is called The Tagalong Sport Bicycle Basket (Silver is tre’ chic) and here’s a link to view all the different places it can be purchased. Prices range from $40.38 to $79.75…be a smart shopper and save the extra bucks and buy Brandon some cool Doggles – they will protect his eyes while looking too cute too!  BAYL….

4.2.11

 Dear Dante: My human wants to know where you shop for those great looking tees that you wear?  She wants me to be her cute little guy too.  — Naked in Naples

Dear Naked in Naples: Some of my cutest tees come from the Dollar Spot at Target.  At $1 each, SHE can afford to keep my Dog Closet filled.  SHE also shops online at MonkeyDaze.com for my cute jeans, overalls and jogging suits.  Be sure to try eBay too – SHE got me some too, too cute outfits & tees and my second pair of Doggles.  It doesn’t cost a lot to look like a million bucks…it’s all in the attitude…I may only be 5 pounds but I have the attitude of a 75 pound Rottweiler.  BAYL…





4 Responses to Dear Dante

  1. Pingback: I have been a very busy CLG… | The Dante Diaries

  2. Donna Ball aka CQ says:

    Dear Dante… Just remember I was your first on line connection. There is something “very special” about firsts….don’t you think?? Not to put any of the bevies of beauties down…but lets just say I am working on keeping myself in shape with “my”,,,, “Her”. We walked (that’s run in our four legged world).. three miles on the beach today…way too early am…and my four little legs kept up with her two long ones. She would not even stop to let me take time for my morning…you know. Just saying….she has turned into an exercise nut! Oatmeal for breakfast for her….dry food for me…no bacon! God I miss Grandma. I can’t wait for Grandma’s next visit. I saw fish come out for dinner. Woo Hoo…yuck. Oh for the days when CG and Big T were here and there was grilling of burgers and generous spirits of the big people. That CQ title has totally gone to “her” head. Something about weight gain/ a couple of pounds and she goes over the top! You should see the side show when she gets dressed in the morning and she is a couple of pounds up. Good Grief!
    Any suggestiions on how to cope when the scale is reflecting the wrong answer for your “her”??
    I can’t wait for November when CG and Big T return. Maybe I’ll get something yummy in my bowl…but for now just know I’m very firm and toned awaiting our first meeting!
    Love Coca’Bella

  3. Pingback: I didn’t even have a clue! | The Dante Diaries

  4. Pingback: What’s a little guy to do when you can’t go out and play? | The Dante Diaries

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